You were always told growing up that if you can’t say so something nice don’t say anything at all. Your words do matter and they do have a great affect on people. People who are hurting and suffering don’t need anything to hear who they have done everything wrong and how they have messed their lives up. They, also, don’t need to hear you say “you got yourself into this mess now get yourself out of this mess”. What they do need to hear are words of encouragement and love. They need to know that you care for them, because if they know that you genuinely care for them it will go a long way towards easing their anxiety, worries or fears.